What made my test experience harder than it needed to be was realizing that it's been happening to me my entire life. I'll study and think I understand the material pretty well and then fail the tests. I talked to my mom about it and asked if me being born 3 months early has anything to do with the difficulites I've had with school in the past. She said that I was tested for learning disabilitites when I was little but they came up negative. She then said that since I almost died parts of my brain were focusing so much on suriviving that they didn't connect normally like they shouldve...on the positive side I SURVIVED! But now its a possibility that I can only learn and retain information a certain way...I knew then that I would have to try harder than a normal person to get good grades and understand my classes... For me coming to this realization that more things were wrong with me was hard. Because of my PCOD I feel like I have to make up for it by being perfect with everything else so I feel less broken. learning that I have been having problems with well..learning along with everything else was really tough to swallow. After all of this happened and I came to terms with everything all over again, this came into my mind- "God gives us weaknesses so that we can be made strong and stay humble."
This happened on Thursday and since then a lot of things have happened that have helped me. My Book of Mormon class has played a big part in that process. The day that I was struggling, someone gave a presentation and said, "When we put Christ first in our lives and do our part, Heavenly Father will make up the difference whether it's in school work or trials that we're facing." When she said this I felt like she was speaking to me. In that moment I knew that as long as I keep doing my best with putting Christ first and doing my best in school that he will make up the difference and help me with what I'm struggling with. I vowed to myself that starting this week I would work even harder. Today I got up, got ready for school, and said my morning prayers. While praying I asked heavenly father to help me to understand my classes and retain what I study. I prayed for peace of mind and motivation even when things are hard. After my classes I started my daunting science homework which concisted of A LOT of reading and an intimidating quiz afterwards. I hadn't been able to do well on any of the quizzes even after I read the material so I was extremely nervous but I pushed it away and did my best. It took me an hour and a half to read the material but I highlighted and did my best to understand. When I finished the quiz, I couldn't believe it when I saw that I had scored an 80%! I only missed one question. My prayers for understanding had been answered and I am so thankful. Today was an amazing day and further showed me that everything of worth is hard work. Its been a hard couple of months but I know that no matter how hard things get or how many problems arise that not believing in myself is never an option. I know that through Christ my weaknesses can become strengths if I do my part and trust in him along the way. We are given hard trials because Heavenly Father knows we are strong enough to bare them. I came into this world fighting to live and I will continue to fight and give it all I have. I was supposed to die but I survived against the odds or what the doctors thought. That means Heavenly Father has a plan for me and I have a purpose on this earth so I refuse to give up. My challenges and disabilities in this life don't define me. I am defined by how I rise to those challenges and how I allow them to shape me as a Daughter of God. If I was meant to die when I was born I would have. With every day that passes I will continue to fight and give it my all with Heavenly father by my side. I believe I can, So I will!
These quotes have really helped me and hey, maybe they'll help you as well!
