My PERFECT new Layout!!

Hello Everybody! Today I decided to give my blog a much needed makeover. I wanted it to better portray where Anthony is in England so you and I can have a better feel of it. Before I knew it I found the back round of the telephone booth's! You have to understand that these aren't just any telephone booth's, I have a picture of Anthony in a telephone booth that looks exactly like them!! This picture is so special because he sent it to me at the very beginning of his mission and it cheered me right up. I love his sense of humor and how he can make me laugh so hard from so far away.

After I found the perfect back round, I also had to find the perfect song to play while your reading. I looked for about 15 minutes and found just that. It's called "My Letter," and there isn't a better song than this one for Anthony and I! Listen for a second and you'll know what I'm talking about. I really feel like I've accomplished something today..this is great! Now every time I come here I'll feel like I'm in a little piece of England.

Baby Steps and Best Friends!

        As many of you know, I recently started my own personal journey of making Body Peace. One of my best friends told me to take baby steps since its overwhelming to tackle everything at once. One of the goals I've been working on is saying something positive about myself and my body anytime I find myself in front of a mirror. Surprisingly its made such a difference in how I feel and think about myself! Yesterday I took another baby step and decided I was going to take a picture of myself before heading out to The Haunted Theater. I never do it very much because I never like how they turn out and always have something to criticize, but this time I told myself I was going to take the picture and love it no matter what the little voice in my head tried to tell me. So I took the picture, said something positive about it, and saved it!

This was a big step for me. Because I made the choice to not bash myself or my body, I actually felt good about the picture I took because I was seeing the positives I had been telling myself instead of the negatives.

When you decide to make a change like I did it is so important to have people with you who stand by you and support you. I feel so blessed to have some of the best friends in the entire world!! They have been my rock through this and I can always count on them. I know I can talk to them about anything and they will always be here for me. I love my friends and I am so lucky to have such amazing people in my life. We laugh about everything and aren't afraid to tease and give eachother a hard time. we stand together no matter what comes our way. I know with all of my heart that Heavenly Father sends people into our lives to help us along the way and make life a little bit brighter, but he didn't just send me people or best friends...he sent me angels.

As things change and life goes on, we will always share a bond that can't be broken by time or distance...We will always be best friends. True friends.

  

 

Here are some pictures of all of us doing what we do best which is goof off!!

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES.......Our favorite show!

 

 There's nothing more I can say because these pictures say it all!!

Making Body Peace.

 Let me start off by saying that this entry is not easy for me to do, but it has to be done. A little while ago Seventeen Magazine decided to create the "Body Peace Treaty." As soon as it was out, thousands of young girls and women all over the world signed the Treaty with their own personal missions to love their body. I never thought of signing it because I didn't think  I needed it. I've struggled with liking my body since I was a little girl. I remember being twelve, looking in the mirror and not liking what I was seeing. I am now nineteen and still struggle with the same things as I did when I was younger.
      For a while my anxiety over my body has increased because I have changed so much over the past fifteen months. In a year I went from having a petite frame to having more of a curvy frame. For me the change has been really hard because I look so much different than I did when Anthony boarded the plane to England, and I've been worried about what he's going to think when he gets home. For quite a bit of time now I've blamed the shape of my body on my Ovarian Disease and the Birth Control I have to take because of it. Not once through this whole journey have I thought that maybe this is how my body is supposed to be.
     
       The reality of my body image problem came crashing down on me today when my mom and I did a little shopping. The thought of trying on a pair of jeans knowing I hadn't reached my fitness goals gave me anxiety and made me sick to my stomach. I sat on the chair battling tears that were threatening to spill over thinking to myself silently that I would never be as beautiful or as skinny as I had wished or worked to be. I was happy when we left the store but knew it wasn't over yet. I had some shopping I needed to do and the fitting room couldn't be avoided. Standing there in front of the mirror in the Dillard's fitting room, I hit my lowest point. My anxiety and sadness reached its max as looked in the mirror and felt disgusted with myself. My mom kept bringing me things to try on, but pretty soon the anxiety became too much and I sat in the fitting room and sobbed. I cried because I felt ugly, I cried because I didn't look the way I wanted too, and I cried because all I wanted to feel was beautiful and I couldn't.

          On the way home my mom and I talked about how I have been feeling. I know that no women should ever have to feel this way about themselves and I should have never let myself get this bad. Today was a huge wake-up call for me because I know that I need to make some serious changes in the way I view my body and how I think about myself as an individual. I know now that I need to get rid of my insecurities instead of letting them control me and how I feel about myself. Today is the day I start my journey to Body Peace. I know its not going to be easy, but I never want to feel like I did today ever again. I'm not going to give up until those thoughts are out of my head forever and I love my body. I'm not going to give up until I love myself for who I am meant to be inside and out.

I AM



AND THIS IS MY VOW.

 

My New Challenge!

Over the past couple of months I have been working up to be able to run 5 miles! Right now I'm up to 4 so I'm on my way! I'm glad I'm reaching my running goals, but strength and core training haven't been my strong areas. After my runs I usually do pushups and some ab workouts but I never follow a routine. If I don't push myself I get bored so I decided it was time for change! Luckily I found something that will allow me to push myself and get better results faster. Now I will be running my 4 miles followed by this routine! Wish me luck!

Just a quiet night.

Its nights like these that remind me how beautiful the world is. There's something about Sunday night that's calming and rejuvenating. It's the night before your week starts. The night where I get to reflect on the past week and think about the goals I want to accomplish in the week to follow. I love Sunday nights because I get to email Anthony and I feel so much closer to him. I have three months before I start school so I find myself wanting to make the best out of each day because time is going by so fast and pretty soon I'll be moving out. I've learned that I can't let myself get too busy..that I have to take time out of each day to wind down and just breathe. I tend to stress a lot so to me, taking a little time to regroup and regather myself is important. Sometimes we let time get away from us and forget to enjoy the simple things in life. The beautiful, simple things in life that are imprinted in our minds forever. I've changed a lot since Anthony left but I still love to curl up with a good book and Chamomile tea before bed. I've loved books since I was a little girl and have always found so much comfort in them. For however long you want, you are able to go somewhere else and experience new things. Quiet nights like this are perfect if you want to get sucked into a good book! And thats exactly what I'm about to do :)

TODAY WAS LIFECHANGING!!

Today was the beginning of General Conference. I don't think anyone woke up this morning expecting the news they were about to hear! I know for a fact that many literally dropped what they were doing with even more dropped jaws when Thomas S. Monson announced that the ages that worthy young men and women have forever changed!! Now men can leave at 18 and women can leave at 19!!! Today changed so many lives including my brother :) Jade can now leave in as little as 7 months on his mission :) I am so proud of him and all of the young women that are making the comittment to go...this moment will go down in church history forever. I love my brother with all of my heart and he is going to be an amazing missionary..he is going to change so many lives. My brother is a warrior with a heart of pure gold :) He is my best friend and I could'nt be more excited for him or all of the lives that not only changed but changed directions <3 I know this gospel is true with all of my heart and I know with everything that I am that the Prophet and the first and second council are inspired and led by our Heavenly Father in what is right for us. I love this gospel, I love conference, and I love my brother soon to be Elder Vecchio!!!!!

Tonight you're with me.

Tonight is one of those nights where I can't shut my mind off. Tonight is one of those nights where I keep replaying over and over in my mind how it might be when Anthony walks through the gate at the airport. Tonight is one of those nights where I miss him more than ever. Most people don't truly understand what it's like to go to bed and wake up knowing that another day has passed without the man you love more than anything. They don't realize how much it hurts sometimes to be without this person. For me it is so hard because Anthony is my best friend and my other half. He's the one I used to make breakfast with, dance with, watch the stars with, and laugh with. He's the one my heart misses more than anything. Just seeing a smile on his face in a picture makes my entire day because I know there is nothing more I want to do than spend the rest of my life making him smile. I miss how we would always take an hour saying goodbye because we didn't want to and how much it hurt when we only had a few minutes that last time. I miss him cupping my face in his hands and telling me how much he loves me. I miss talking with him about anything and everything. I miss him kissing me because he always did it in the sweetest most gentle way. I miss his hugs..It didn't matter what kind of day I was having, when he hugged me everything was okay again..everything was perfect. I miss hearing his laugh because its the sound that makes me melt in the happiest way. I miss him telling me I'm beautiful even when I think I look horrible that day. I miss him coming over when I'm sick and trying to help me feel better. I miss him smiling at me while he rubs his thumb over my cheek, I miss having him by my side. I miss how he looks at me. I miss him and everything about him. Its like this for me every day but sometimes there are days or nights like this one where memories keep flashing through my head and I can't ignore the absence my heart feels without him here. After this I'll probably wake up in the morning and go on with my day smiling because I'll know its one day closer, but tonight I just need to let myself feel. He might be far away, but tonight he's here with me...as a beautiful vivid memory <3