Tonight is one of those nights where I can't shut my mind off. Tonight is one of those nights where I keep replaying over and over in my mind how it might be when Anthony walks through the gate at the airport. Tonight is one of those nights where I miss him more than ever. Most people don't truly understand what it's like to go to bed and wake up knowing that another day has passed without the man you love more than anything. They don't realize how much it hurts sometimes to be without this person. For me it is so hard because Anthony is my best friend and my other half. He's the one I used to make breakfast with, dance with, watch the stars with, and laugh with. He's the one my heart misses more than anything. Just seeing a smile on his face in a picture makes my entire day because I know there is nothing more I want to do than spend the rest of my life making him smile. I miss how we would always take an hour saying goodbye because we didn't want to and how much it hurt when we only had a few minutes that last time. I miss him cupping my face in his hands and telling me how much he loves me. I miss talking with him about anything and everything. I miss him kissing me because he always did it in the sweetest most gentle way. I miss his hugs..It didn't matter what kind of day I was having, when he hugged me everything was okay again..everything was perfect. I miss hearing his laugh because its the sound that makes me melt in the happiest way. I miss him telling me I'm beautiful even when I think I look horrible that day. I miss him coming over when I'm sick and trying to help me feel better. I miss him smiling at me while he rubs his thumb over my cheek, I miss having him by my side. I miss how he looks at me. I miss him and everything about him. Its like this for me every day but sometimes there are days or nights like this one where memories keep flashing through my head and I can't ignore the absence my heart feels without him here. After this I'll probably wake up in the morning and go on with my day smiling because I'll know its one day closer, but tonight I just need to let myself feel. He might be far away, but tonight he's here with me...as a beautiful vivid memory <3
Morgan. This makes me wanna cry. I love you SO SO SO SO SO much! I know that Anthony is getting the best. HE is so lucky. I know that everything happens for a reason, and that it's meant to be. Don't you fret. You are surrounded by people who love you. Maybe not like that...but you are so loved everywhere you go!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Marci :) I'm sorry for making you want to cry! haha it was just one of those nights, I probably shouldn't let myself stay up that late, I get sad haha I feel like I'm getting the best, I feel so lucky to have him..thank you for staying by my side through all of this! Love you <3
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