My journey from weakness to strength!

              A long time ago in 8th grade, I was a relay sprinter...and I was really good. All of that ended when I found a lump on my lower stomach. We soon learned that it was a hernia and I had to go into surgery. When they took it out, recovery seemed to take forever. I ended up not running for a year afterwards because it was painful.  Junior year I decided I was going to do track again, but ended up quitting because #1- I had lost my "Mojo" &  #2- I started to hurt again. My mom and I went to the doctor to see if whatever it was could be fixed and or diagnosed. He said that sometimes scar tissue can cause pain, but I could work through it. He also said that I was at risk for getting more hernia's if I continued what I was doing.
                    
                           After that day I just stopped. I decided that maybe it wasn't in the cards for me to run again. I didn't worry about working out or being in the same shape as I was while I was doing track because I was still pretty petite. After Anthony left on his mission, My body and my mind were put through a lot of stress. Because of this, I gained some weight and then started having horrible stomach pains. I ended up having to have surgery again because they found a mass in one of my ovaries and couldn't find out what it was. During my surgery they not only figured out what the mass was but found that my left ovary was attached to my colon. When I woke up, they told me that the mass was an erupted cyst and that I had been diagnosed with Poly cystic Ovarian Disease. (PCOD) My surgeon then explained that because of this disease, I would have a difficult time having children. Anthony wasn't here to face the news with me or to hold my hand through it, so I felt really alone and broken. Wanting to find out how I could make my situation better, I talked to my mom about what I could do that would increase my ability to have children even with this disease.

                      
                           My mom, who has been majoring in Health Science told me that If I made my body stronger, the better and easier it would be for me to have kids and that I would lessen the risk of my (PCOD) getting worse. In that moment I knew that even though I was mostly in control of the situation, I would still have to leave it up to God. I decided to have faith that if I worked hard and did all that I could do to be stronger, healthier, and in shape, that he would meet me half way...and he has :) Since then I have been able to get back in shape and actually be in better shape than I ever have, even when I was running track. I don't have any pain from either of my surgery's and I am able to run 3 miles at once! I have never been able to do that.

                        This has been once of the biggest learning experiences of my entire life. At first it was hard because I expected to get better without putting the work in or trying my hardest. I didn't believe that I was capable of doing what I knew I needed to do. It wasn't until I buckled down and forced myself to have faith that I could do it and that I WAS strong enough, that I actually started getting results. Ever since I was a little girl, I have battled with horrible self esteem and body image. I spent so much time worrying about how I looked, and thinking that I wasn't beautiful, that I actually believed it even though there was nothing wrong with me. It  took having something very wrong with me for me to realize what I have been doing to myself all of these years, and that I never apprecitated what I had. Because of this I was given the trial of something actually being wrong with me. I was never happy with myself even though there was nothing wrong...Now I've had to learn to be happy with myself while something IS wrong. I learned my lesson. Because of my new goal and faith in myself, I am happy to say that for the first time in my life  I am confident in my abilities and my body because I have made my body strong!! It wasn't until I was forced with having to help fix myself that I learned to love myself even though I have flaws. I am also happy to say that I have some sweet biceps and abs!! It wasn't until now that I realized that all of the stress I was putting myself through every day to be better and look better was holding me back from my mental and physical potential, and was blinding me to what I was actually seeing in the mirror.

                        
                     Because of this trial, I have learned that when we are given hard things to deal with, it is almost always because we are supposed to learn something from it specifically and become stronger. I was given this trial so I could learn how to love myself and have confidence in myself. I learned that I have the power to change my situation and that God has the upper hand no matter what the doctors say...I just have to do my part. I still have a lot of stomach pain at times, but I push through it because Heavenly Father has shown me that I am strong, beautiful, and capable of anything I set my mind to as long as I trust in him and believe in his faith in me. Never think that there isn't a reason why your going through something hard or having to face heartbreaking news like I had to...God knows what is best for us and he knows what we need even though we might not see it ourselves. Sometimes the best medicine out there is believing in yourself, having faith in God, having faith in his timing, and having faith in his plan for you. My trial isn't yet over, but I am stronger than I have ever been and nothing is going to stop me, nor will I let it.  "Don't limit yourself and don't let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possiblilities. You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith." - Thomas S. Monson.