Dreams and Warriors.

           Moments in our life pass by so quickly that they seem to flash before our eyes like a photo. Memories become whispers drifting with the wind to our hearts while more memories wait to be made reality. While more memories wait to be created, my dreams seem to keep me on steady, calm ground. Anthony has been gone 13 months and I still feel him as if he were right next to me. He visits me in my dreams often and I wake up forgetting that he's gone, but I would never take back those moments. In a way they have kept me together and have kept me focused. Often they are answers to my prayers. A couple weeks ago I went to bed really stressed and emotionally exhausted. I didn't remember falling asleep, but I woke up and saw Anthony standing by my bed. I got up confused but I was so happy to see him, I tried not to cry. I could tell by the look on his face that he knew how stressed I was and wanted to take it away so badly. In that moment he wrapped me up in his arms and just hugged me and I instantly felt all of my stress leave me......I felt so happy and complete....I wanted it to last forever, but it was over as soon as it started. I woke up with a smile on my face and I could still feel his arms around me.
              Two nights ago it was different. He walked through my back-door dressed like a soldier and it looked like he had just been in the middle of a war. He was bloodied and looked so hurt and exhausted. I cupped his face between my hands and looked at him and told him everything was going to be alright and that we would get through it together. This time I was comforting him. We looked at each other knowing we would face the battle side by side and would be strong together. The dream ended with his battered and pained face cupped in my hands as I looked at him telling him he could do it and I believed in him. The weird thing about that dream was that no words were spoken and we were frozen in time. It was like we saw it in each others eyes. When I woke up I was hurting because of the pain he felt in the dream. I layed in bed for a second trying to take the dream in and ran it through in my mind so I wouldn't forget it. As the day passed, I realized something. Every single day we are in a war against good and evil; a battle against us and Satan. When we wake up in the morning we put on our armor and face the day. Some days we forget our armor and get bloodied and injured during battle. Some days our armor gets pierced and we are left hurting and bloodied even though we put it on, but we never stop fighting. We are all God's warriors and as much as our faith and love for Christ keeps us strong and determined; we also need each other. We need to help bare and lift each others burdens when the battle gets tough and our armor gets heavy. In my dream, all Anthony needed to know was that we were in it together and I wouldn't leave him during battle. He needed to be reminded he was strong and he was loved. Sometimes that's all we need to get back up and face the world again, to face our battles....the simple fact that we are never alone. I have always seen Anthony as my warrior but I hope he knows that I didn't just send him off to battle...I am fighting right along with him and I always will be.

               My dreams change, but one thing about them always stays the same...Anthony. He never leaves my side even though he's so far away :) My dreams are only moments but they are beautiful and they have purpose. When I have needed it most, Anthony is always here to comfort me. He might be 20,000 miles away, but every day we walk out to battle with Heavenly Father...to shine our light into the darkness...TOGETHER. SIDE BY SIDE. AS WARRIORS OF GOD.